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2013-10-11 Resigning from a friend

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Clipped on: 2013-10-11
I resigned from SendHub last night, Thursday, October 10th, 2013.  It was a kind of surreal experience - all day I knew I was going to resign in the evening.  I had a 1-on-1 meeting with Ryan Pfeffer at 5pm, and it was uncomfortable to feel so emotionally and mentally checked out.  He asked me for feedback and I simply told him I didn't have any at this time.  After that ended, I SendHub'd Ash to see what his availability was like- He said he had an engagement at 6:30pm.  I told him to let me know when he was done.  It then took until quarter past six before we could get Lore to stop barking.  First it was in his crate, then I went to take him out and he took another 20 minutes or more to stop barking outside.  Yikes.

Kirsten and I headed to downtown Palo Alto and got coffees and Philz.  Mine was half full of mint leaves, which was a bummer because there was actually very little liquid.  We then went to dinner at Nola's, which was nice.  Ash texted me during dinner to say he was ready.  We finished up around 8pm and I messaged him saying I'd swing by in 15-20 minutes.  Strangely, he replied "to my place?", as if I might swing by somewhere else.

I arrived at a quarter past 8 and stepped onto the dark stoop of Ash's porch.  I rang the bell and waited.  After waiting about a minute, I firmly depressed the bell button again.  I could hear a ding-dong inside.  It was still dark, no signs of movement.  I rapped my knuckles solidly on the door, and continued to wait.  Eventually I could make out a silhouette inside as he made his way to the door.  As he opened the door I noticed his attire; A worn old ugly dark green, dark red, and white vertically striped dress shirt tucked into inexpensive jeans.  Like dad jeans.

We greeted each other and then he stood there, awkwardly paused.  Without being invited in, I started to move inside and was relieved when he turned around and headed in.

"Where do you want to do it?" he asked, as we walked through the entry way.
"What do you mean?" I replied.
"We can go in my room." he said soberly.
Not wanting to go any further into his space than necessary, I said "Let's just sit on the couch".

Once we were both seated, I began with "Ash, I want you to know that I appreciate your efforts of late."
I paused, and continued, "However, this.. isn't working for me.  I can't work at SendHub anymore."

Without any pause or hesitation, he responded: "Okay."

I was caught off guard by how quickly my words had been accepted.  We sat in silence for a brief moment.

He seemed to recover collected himself and asked "What is your timeline?"

"Two weeks, though I understand if you don't want me around that long", I replied.

He trudged on, "Two weeks.. is that the most you will give us?"


He seemed to regain his composure and his demeanor abruptly became more energetic and upbeat, as if everything was okay.  It was in fact a poor attempt at masking his true feelings.  Underneath the calm words and movements, the seething anger and hostility was palpable: "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?".

And on still, plodding through what must be said, "And are you willing to train someone on the pieces you had sole ownership over?"

"Of course."

"Alright", he said monosyllabically.

"Great", I said as I got up.  We proceeded to the front door and as I headed through, I asked "Oh, for the interview tomorrow, how do you want to handle that?  I am happy to help, and I would of course stick to technical subjects only and avoid anything that would be potentially damaging or awkward."

He thought for a moment, "Yea, okay well let me talk to Ryan and I'll let you know."

"Sounds good, see you tomorrow." I said.  I turned and headed back to the car at a leisurely pace feeling lighter than I had in many months, a great burden lifted.

From stoop to stoop, it was over in less than three minutes.

As for the interview; they decided they didn't want my more help on that.